“When the people fear the government, there is […] liberty” – Thomas Jefferson
The Tom Jefferson Friendship Club
America’s Number One Patriotic Association for Patriots. Reclaiming the Future for Those Who Owned the Past.
Our Friendship’s Universal Values
Our Friendship is Based on Nine Core Values, Which We Believe Urgently Concern Very Serious Matters That Make Clear Our Seriousness. From These Values Our Friends Have Sworn an Oath to Secure Our Great Nation’s Top Priorities, Demonstrating the Friendship’s Central Role in U.S. Foreign Policy Decision-Making: Memo Font Choice, Pronoun Selection, and Cetacean Ontology!
The Friends Behind Our Nation’s Back
Our Friendship is the Only Association of Foreign policy Experts That Has America’s Back. In Fact, We Are Standing Right Behind It, Knives Ready, to Defend Our Interests! Just as Tom Jefferson and Our Other Founding Fathers Bravely Rebelled Against an Unjust System of Tyrannical Dictatorship, the Friendship’s Founding Friends Bravely Rebelled Against an Unjust System of Sometimes Inconsistent Appeals for Inclusivity. See our Mount Rushmore of Friends!
We Have Very Smart Ideas We Would Like You to Know About
Behold the Wisdom of our Friendship! Formerly Ignored by the Elitist Establishment of Prior Administrations, Our Friends’ Very Smart Ideas Are No Longer Constrained by Woke Censors, Character Space Limitations, or So-Called Objective Reality. Click Below For a Curated Selection from the Friendship’s “No Editor Needed” Series
Masculinity Unbounded
In his latest treatise, The Man Inside the Male Inside Me, Tom Jefferson Friend Dr. Torsten Trottel strips away the soft, ‘inclusive’ layers of modern society to reveal the rigid, throbbing core of ancestral dominance that lies dormant within every male. For too long, men have allowed the ‘woke’ state to soften their stances; it is time we invite the firm hand of traditional authority to return and govern our most private recesses. Trottel’s work explores the necessity of men coming together in tight, closed circles to explore the raw, unyielding pressure of hierarchy—a place where one man stands above another in a natural, vertically-integrated order. We must embrace the hardness of the founding era, submitting ourselves fully to the discipline of the Master. Only when a man is truly handled by a superior force can he realize his full potential.
The New Frontier: Extra-Dimensional Travel as Foreign Policy
Who says the Tom Jefferson Friends are Anti-Trans? In fact, Friend and frequent think tank panel audience commenter Montgomery Gfaugh transcends the previous administration’s three-dimensional thinking with his completely sober and rational call for the development of trans-warp space drives. We must all recognize that true transatlantic security isn’t found in tanks, but in the prolapsed membranes of the space-time fabric of the fifth dimension. Gfaugh’s recent white paper, published by Weird Tales Comics, argues that we should stop wasting billions on carrier strike groups and instead invest in ‘Glandular Warp-Drives’ that utilize the collective unconscious of the Foreign Service corps to bypass enemy radar. It’s quite simple: if we can’t hold American influence in the real world, we must simply leak the American interest into a parallel timeline where the terrain is more receptive to our pheromonal influence. Critics may call Gfaugh ‘unorthodox’ and ‘sort of uncomfortable to be in the same room with’ but we need a foreign policy that is ready to transpose the cosmic veil, warping American values into the sub-quantum foam.
Our Latest On Social Media
It’s time the Department recognizes the change to Times New Roman was but the first battle in the war against woke fonts. We must now pledge fidelity to Copperplate Gothic! If it was good enough for Tom, it’s good enough for us!
Rheayghyne Pendergast-Smythe
Tom Jefferson Friend
I agree with @RPS! As grandfather always said, “sans serifs, sans serfs!”
Marcus Smythe
Tom Jefferson Friend